An Open Letter to American "Chef's"

To the so called "Chef's" of America,

The world is shrinking. The advent of modern transportation and communication technologies has promoted a global exchange of ideas and philosophies that has never existed before. Nowhere is this more evident than on the dinner table; as flavors, spices, and methods from around the globe begin to meld in pots, skillets, and wok's across the country.

While these new ideas may be seen by some as an opportunity to expand ones tool set and abilities, it is important to remember that with great power comes great responsibility. We cannot, as Americans, use our knowledge of international food culture as an opportunity to mock and openly insult the lesser nations of the world community.

David "P.F" Chang isn't Laughing.

It is therefore particularly disturbing to me to find that a growing trend in the American Culinary world is a disturbing sub-set of styles known as "Asian-Fusion", a style of cooking designed clearly to mock and humiliate the people of Japan as they struggle with horrors of their recent tragedy; the meltdown of the Fukushima Fusion Nuclear Reactor. Upon investigation, I have found that several American Chef's from all across the country have featured this abhorrent style prominently, alienating Asian-American eater's across the globe.


It is therefore that I, Chef Will, What About Food, and our affiliates ask you "Chefs" across the country to put up your Pickled Onion, dispose of your Baby Bok Choy, and throw away your Steamed Buns. It is time now more than ever to show solidarity with the Asian Culinary Community. There is blood on your whites, and it's glowing green.


If we all work together, we can put an end to the mock-cuisine that is "Asian-Fusion". It's time to send a message to American Chef's that we will not tolerate this level of hatred and racism in the kitchen.

That being said, I am pleased to present my take on a classic recipe that Julia Child published shortly after the bombing of Nagasaki:


Chef Will's Three-Eyed Peking Duck:

• 1 (5-Pound) Duck
• 6 Cups Water
• 2 Tablespoons Honey
• 2 Tablespoons Dry Sherry
• 3 Tablespoons Polonium 210
• 1/2 Cup Hoisin Sauce

-Irradiate Duck for no less than 48 hours.

-Combine remaining ingredients in Wok or large skillet.

-Simmer Duck over low heat for 20-25 minutes (lead apron may be desirable)