Seven Easy Steps to Nailing Your Stage!

We've all been there. A friend of a friend has agreed to let you stage in their kitchen. Now it's time to live up to the hype; to be the bad-ass cook you were promised to be! Your reputation, as well as the reputation of your connection, is on the line. These Seven Easy Steps will ensure a successful staging experience, and most likely, a new gig!


Step One: Keep Your Cool

keep it cool!

The easiest way to blow a stage is to not connect with the existing crew. The close-knit dynamic a kitchen creates is a delicate thing, and a new face can easily upset the balance. It's important to be yourself and make a great first impression. Don't be afraid to have a drink or two before your stage; nobody likes a stiff-biff! You want to be relaxed and in your comfort zone while cooking in front of strangers. A cocktail at the bar across the street should help take the edge off, making your first day a service to remember!


Step Two: Come Prepared!
Lets face it, an unfamiliar kitchen can be a labyrinth of cabinets and shelving. Ladles, spoons, pans, thermometers, cling wrap; all living in their own specific homes. A new hire might take weeks to finally learn where everything is! When your chef asks you for a shallow six pan, you don't want to waste precious time searching the dish-pit for one, so why not bring your own! The importance of bringing your own equipment to your stage cannot be overstated. Showing up to a stage with your own roll of aluminum foil sends the message that you are prepared for the job.  Many cooks tend to be territorial, and the last thing they want is the new guy using their favorite robot-coup. Bringing your own tools says two things; I am prepared and I respect your space. www.TigerChef.com has a variety of knife-bags available to carry the myriad of tools you'll be bringing to your stage.


Step Three: Know Your Place
The biggest mistake that most young cooks make is being overly-ambitious. Constant questions, observations, and suggestions show a lack of humility and respect. Be cautious of making direct eye contact with your chef, as it may be taken as a sign of disrespect. Keeping your gaze perpetually fixed on the ground will let the current crew know that you are aware of your status as a stage. Try not to speak more strongly than a whisper, and accept any hazing that may ensue. These are all rituals of acceptance. If you do every cook's grunt work yourself, you'll be one of the guys in no time!

Step Four: Be Proud, Be Loud!

The Sizzler in full effect!

No one likes a quiet cook! The best place in the kitchen to assert your rock star attitude is on the six-burner. A stage is like an audition, and this is your chance to shock and awe! Use the percussive nature of cast iron to really make an impression. By slamming pots and pans around the range, you'll be sure to turn heads. This is especially true in open kitchens. Here are a few specialized moves I have cultivated to add a little flair to your own cooking style.  

• The Sizzler- Find the largest saute pan available to you. (Check Step Two, you should have brought your own!) Line the pan with about a half inch of canola oil. Crank the gas up to maximum and wait. After a short period of shimmering and smoking, the pan should ignite in a blaze of glory. This is a great time to cultivate a catch phrase, something exciting to represent your individual flare behind the line. Imaging the excitement on your chef's face when he hears "BOOSH-YADA" and turns to see a four foot high flame coming off his range. That's the kind of excitement he's going to want to add to his kitchen. 

•  The Bonham- If you want to be a rockstar chef, START ACTING LIKE ONE! Never underestimate the percussive power of pots and pans. Pretend you're the Buddy Rich of cast iron! Think of it like "In Da Gadda Da Six-Burner".
•  

Step Five: Look The Part

NOW you're cookin'!

Take a look around any kitchen you walk into. What are the defining physical features that set all the bad-ass cook's apart from the rest? Three things; facial hair, culinary tattoos, hat. Don't have any of these? Well it's a good thing you're reading this before your stage. Facial hair is an easy one. I recommend not shaving for anywhere between one to three weeks prior to your stage. Culinary tattoos can be faked by a decent art-school friend and a sharpie or two. Remember to keep your ink in the culinary vein; a chef's knife or cast iron skillet will be perfect. Nothing expresses your devotion to your craft like a flaming skull wearing a chef's hat. And speaking of hats, did you remember yours? You may be thinking to yourself, "Well of course they all have hats, you're required to wear a hat in a kitchen!". Well my friend, it's that kind of thinking that makes you a stage and me a bona-fide chef.  The hat is about attitude, not loose hair.  Tweed is very much in, baseball caps are out. Try to find something that looks European, or better yet, Scandinavian.

Step Six: Chat Em Up
On a stage, there's no way for the crew to tell if you're the real deal or not unless you let them know. You want your chef to know that you're in the know. A great way clue him in is to talk to him about other chefs and cooking techniques! Don't be afraid to name drop. Spend some time on wiki-pedia familiarizing yourself with some of the following terms:

"Chang"

• "Gordon Ramsay"
• "Sautee"
• "Fennel Pollen"
• "MamaFoku"
• "Brulee"
• "Perforated Hotel Pan"
• "Chang"

Step Seven: Make 'Em Wait
Now that you've nailed your stage, you're guaranteed a job offer in the next few days. This is the most important time, and often most fumbled step by young cooks. DO NOT ANSWER YOUR PHONE. MAKE THEM WAIT. Appearing desperate is a sure fire way to mess up your chances. Calling back to follow up is a definite dish-washing designation. If you're aiming for sous chef or higher, wait at least two weeks before allowing any contact with the restaurant. After the right amount of time has elapsed, feel free to stop by the restaurant non-nonchalantly, as though you were just in the neighborhood and wanted to see what was up. They'll probably ask you to change out and start working on the spot, so be sure to bring the supplies previously mentioned.

Now you're prepared to enter the exciting world of staging. Remember, use the above mentioned tips as guidelines. Feel free to change up and combine any number of rules to suit your particular situation.
Please feel free to pass on my own personal resume to any job leads you might encounter. I will forward it to you upon request to my e-mail address at whataboutfoood@gmail.com . Please. Any lead at all. I need this.